"You Never Can Tell" by George Bernard Shaw is a four-act play written in 1897. Mrs. Clandon returns to England with her three children after eighteen years abroad, but the children have no idea who their father is. Through a comedy of errors, they end up inviting him to a family lunch. Meanwhile, a dentist named Valentine falls for Gloria, the eldest daughter who claims to have no interest in love or marriage. A wise waiter dispenses advice with the play's titular phrase as identities become confused and comic situations unfold. (This is an automatically generated summary.)