I buy me couple horses by W. C. Tuttle is a humorous Western short story written in the early 20th century. It follows a would-be horse owner who moves out to keep a couple of horses and runs headlong into slick dealers, misfit mounts, and the comic hazards of chasing the “perfect” animal. The narrator declares his plan to keep horses, which instantly draws a parade of peddling cowboys and dubious stock. He trials a string of rejects—a shirt-eating “kind” horse, a whiplash-quick polo pony, and a toothless old-timer—then is tempted by a dusk-delivered sorrel that seems like the real prize. Overnight the animal wrecks his stable and corral, forcing a wild roping and hog-tying to an oak before it breaks loose again. A phone call reveals the beast is a notorious stable-smasher passed from hand to hand, and the dealers promptly offer a gentle brown mare as a cure-all. The tale closes with the narrator’s dry refusal, underscoring the wry lesson: in horse trading, the sales pitch is often the wildest thing on the place. (This is an automatically generated summary.)