Blame it on Brother Bill
by W. C. (Wilbur C.) Tuttle (1883–1969)
Blame it on Brother Bill by W. C. Tuttle is a humorous Western short story written in the early 20th century. Set around a Montana cow ranch and the nearby town of Paradise, it lampoons the romantic myth of “dashing cowboy heroes” with a farce of mistaken identity, runaway welcomes, and small‑town showmanship. The tale follows crusty rancher Jay Bird Whittaker and his four flamboyantly useless hands—Hen (the narrator), Chuck, Muley, and Telescope—plus their pal Magpie. After Jay Bird rails against a female “scenario” writer related to his brother, Chuck secretly telegraphs two women to “come ahead,” imagining rich heiresses. Paradise stages a ludicrous nighttime reception—bad band and all—culminating in Magpie’s brakeless automobile careening through town, the river, and finally the Cross‑J kitchen with the terrified guests aboard: not millionaires, but schoolteachers Marie Castleton and Agnes. The women prove tougher than the cowboys, braining intruders with a pitcher, brandishing an old shotgun, and dousing Jay Bird with a lamp when he insults them. When the dust settles, Jay Bird discovers the mix‑up came from Chuck’s telegram answering Marie’s job inquiry to teach in Paradise. After rock‑salt blasts, runaway rigs, and bruised pride, the old skeptic recants—deciding to hire Marie, impressed by her grit and sure aim—while the story gently skewers cowboy vanity and the gap between pulp‑West fantasies and reality. (This is an automatically generated summary.)